Where DOES The Time Go??? (And When I Find It, Do I Know How To Use It Wisely??)

Hello all: so I see almost a month has gone by since my last entry (amazing how time slips past us these days, especially around the holidays...); anyway, I guess another re-cap is in order: the last month has seen my Mom in the hospital for 9 days with a re-ocurrance of her pneumonia from her stay in September, dehydration (she had hardly eaten anything after getting sick Thanksgiving Eve--& unfortunately, missing the holiday altogether, before we took her to First-Med) combined with very low potassium & thyroid readings & a flaring-up of her gallstones, which almost required surgery--sooner rather than later); she's much better now, staying home the last 10 days resting (my wife & myself, my sister & bro-in-law & the nieces were there last Sunday to help her put up her tree & finish decorating, spend time with her, etc.) & last nite, we took her out to do some shopping (which felt like being re-leased from prison, she said!! LOL--not THAT drastic, she admits, but you get the meaning...); also, the wife & I have not even decorated the house at this point (she gets home late @ least a few nights a week, & even when she doesn't, we're both so tired from the workday we just don't do anything); we did our Xmas cards printed up (with the pup & Santa), but have to put them together & send them out; not getting a tree till this weekend because we want a real one & my wife says we have no place to store a new fake one (I say, in the clutter that is our lives, what's the difference at this point?? LOL)--plus, we are actually having everyone (a mix of both sides of the family) over for Xmas Eve (a big undertaking, yes, but it will be nice); in fact, I'm even late with putting up all the Xmas cards/photos we've gotten (more & more each day, I feel, as Steve Miller in the original & then Seal in the re-make sang in "Fly Like An Eagle" that "time keeps on slipping, slipping, into the future"); & while I'm looking forward to all the upcoming holiday festivities & such (starting with our yearly trek to NJ for Xmas with my sister & the family there), my in-offiice holiday party next week, the afore-mentioned Xmas Eve, New Year;s Eve @ our friends' house, etc., I feel like I haven't fully gotten into the Xmas Spirit (we did watch the tree-lighting specials & some other Xmas stuff on various networks, we mostly have Xmas music on here @ work, you here it everywhere else, all the commercials on TV & radio ad-naseum); it's hard to explain sometimes, but I think with all that's happened the last year or so, I'm most certainly looking forward to packing away 2011 & moving on to the New Year, but realize that once again, it's kind of selfish to complain about anything with all the terrible things still going on in the world, to people in my family & in the different circles of friends, etc.--I think it's OK to want a fresh start & a clean slate, but so much has happened to so many that I know & love; for example, this time of year is so hard for my wife (her Dad) & anyone else who has lost a loved one right before Xmas (it's hard anytime, but even tougher before the holidays); this hit home when attending the wake of a friend from our theater group who I met over 6 years ago doing "The Wizard of Oz" then when we started "Gypsy" the next year, he had to bow out after being cast due to his mom's illness; he came back 2 years ago for "Cinderella" & we all had a great re-connecting, but even then, he wasn't himself & you can tell he wasn't well; he plowed thru the show & persevered, though (showing more pluck & fortitude than most people I know; I don't if I could be as strong); when we did "Annie", his son, who has been working backstage with us for years, kept us posted on his ever-changing conditions (a great guy, such a "mensch", & just plain nice) & it was hard for my wife to sit there even for the short time we attended; then you find out that the poor woman killed in that freak elevator accident worked with & knew an old friend of mine, so shock & mourning all around; the family of the officer who was killed because the judicial & legal system failed knows their loved one was in a dangerous line of work, but if savage animals like those who were responsibile weren't roaming the streets, this wouldnt've happened how & when it did--sighhhhh, & I complain when I feel stressed @ work, or think I'm still not doing enough in my exercise regimen or diet, or when the buses run late to & from work, or when one of the many clueless people or one of the many avoidable situations in the world "grind my gears", as a theater-group friend of mine is fond of saying---so, let's all remember, "Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards Men (& Women & Children & Dogs & Cats & Everyone We Meet...); maybe Frank Capra was right: maybe if we think of what would happen if we were never born & never knew the love of our nearest & dearest & in turn, they never knew what it was like to have us in THEIR worlds, we might see that it really could be "A Wonderful Life" :)

He's A Real Nowhere Man....

Good morning, All--so, Beatle fan that I am, I thought that was an appropriate title for today's offering, only the 2nd one this month (as I've said before, the spirit is willing, but the fingers are weak...) as well as an apt metaphor in many ways for my current state of being--but as usual, I digress...
ANY-hoo, here's a re-cap of recent events: as Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself, as I'm sure many others do at this time of year, contemplating life & all I'm thankful for; my beautiful wife, my precious pup, my family & all my friends at the top of the list, of course; my renewed health; a roof over my head & although, I've fallen out of love with my job long ago (for a host of reasons), at least it's a job (& I did recently get my forced day off each week back & a SLIGHT bump in pay), but of course, all that being said, there's always an undercurrent & combination of uncertainty/frustration/malaise/stress/confusion/helplessness, etc. about my everyday existence; more & more people I know these days are pretty much in the same boat, so I never consider myself unique in having these feelings, just that that's where I am at this point in my life; I know, I know, WOE IS ME (or as Linda Rondstadt sang :Poor Poor Pitiful Me"--LOL)--I know there are countless people all over the world without all the good things that I have & hold dear, but I guess at 50 years old (& a half, to be precise), I feel like something is still missing somehow (like the line in Jim Croce's "Bad Bad Leroy Brown": A jigsaw puzzle with a couple a pieces gone...)--anyway, minus losing a week or so last week to a bad head & chest cold where I felt like I was just creeping through each day (and skipping one interval exercise class & one boxing class each & unfortunately, doing less biking but still trying to walk & do my own weights/exercise stuff as best I could every day), being pretty much back to form physically & mentally hasn't necessarily helped me through the muck & mire of my daily routines--luckily, Thanksgiving is the thing I've looked forward to the most for quite some time now; it's unfortunate that there still has to be so many "hurdles to clear", so many "walls" to climb, so many "potholes" to jump over to get to something good; such is the way of the world more than ever, I suppose--but as I said before (& as I usually do), I digress; just feels good to see it on "paper" or in "print" sometimes to put things in perspective--with that, I leave you till next time, my friends--have a healthy, Happy & bountiful Thanksgiving with your nearest & dearest & loved ones all & prayers for those no longer with us to share the day :)

Isn't It Ironic (Don'cha Think??)

So, here is my 1st blog for the new month (and once again, a more & more paltry output from me has me contemplating the end of this little experiment, but we'll see...)--briefly, here goes: I seem to have been befallen by 2 separate incidences of that old saw, Irony; Example One: For a blog who's title includes the sentence "From A Lover Of The Spoken Word", I have used words to inadvertently & most accidentally destroy 2 friendships, one a longtime friend (and both tied together: this is a couple of friends who are dating, the woman fairly new to our circle of friends, the guy a friend of many years & someone I'm on a BBQ team with, among other social activities; suffice it to say, I thought I was venting about a situation with the woman, who has now worked with me for awhile, by texting back & forth with my wife; after the 1st 2 texts, a friend on Facebook messaged me & I answered her but stayed on the text/posting thread, so that my next bunch of texts about said woman, unfortunately derogatory in nature (again, frustation & venting because a lot of changes & new rules @ work & other stuff--we had both been talked to already by our new Office Mgr. & I by my my main boss as well; I have been given my Mondays back that were taken away when we all got forced down to 4 days a week @ the beginning of this year & have been handed other responsibilities--I even got a slight bump in pay--woo hoo!!--with several provisions added including not spending extra time engaging this person or letting them engage me in endless/mindless conversation) ended up on FB; the 2nd example of Irony is maybe more of a stretch, but here goes: Back in 2005 when I rejoined The Andrean Players theater group @ St. Andrew's Church here in Flushing after a 16-year absence, I did so because I heard they were going to do "The Wizard of Oz" & I had always wanted to play the Cowardly Lion; we all know the story: he's the "King of the Forest" & lost his "noive" (courage), so he compensates by acting all scary & fierce, but deep down, he's a fraidy cat, for lack of a better term; @ the end he finds he always had his "noive" & his courage all along (stay with me, folks)--the day after this happened, after she had already made a post about it the nite before, she basically said "the coward couldn't face up to what he did" and she was right; I lost my "noive" & didn't have the decency to rectify this or @ least try to as soon as it happened--I do like the woman & see she has made my friend happier than he's been in years, so I wouldn't try to destroy that; I also would never purposely put all that on FB for all the world to see; however, by doing what I did, I've now lost both friendships to the point that I know I've affected our circle of friends, if not yet, then in the foreseeable future; I have been distraught since I realized I did this last Thursday afternoon & deleted the posts & threads; however, I sat here with the woman the rest of the day & did not address it at all; I basically let it go until I saw she left a post (not mentioning me) addressing it that nite & another one the next day--then my friend, himself, left me a private FB message last nite around 9:45pm & said he saw my posts, he knows it was me, our friendship is finished, etc--I answered him right away & sent another FB message & 2 texts this morning & a message to her on FB last nite as well, apologizing profusely all-around & trying to explain myself--I even had my wife message the guy, but I know it's to no avail; I've been miserable since it happened & just left a kind of public apology post on FB a little while ago with the proviso that I am not going to discuss it any further-- siggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(  - - - a hard way to learn a lesson, but I got what I deserved, I think; now I just have deal & live with the consequences--anyway, friends, thanks for listening & I hope to tty soon.

The Week In Review

Good Morning, All--so, let me quickly give an overview of the last week or so to try & catch you up: as I mentioned last week, I started a "boot camp" program with my nutritionist & a boot camp it was from the get-go; jumping jacks & other warm-up exercises (including push-ups, which I'm proud to say I did 10 of--been FOREVER since I even attempted any), boxing (sparring/shadow-boxing/light & heavy bags), & a host of stretching & conditioning stuff--I'm really glad I started this program (my sore & ever-older feeling body not withstanding the 3 or 4 days afterwards)--I was a little awkward with the boxing till I got some of the stances & stuff down--also, I ride the bike back & forth to the fitness place (5 blocks away x 2), so I start before I even get there--last nite was the1st "interval training": more push-ups, lunges/walking with 7-pound weights around the room twice, different conditioning exercises, soccer toe-taps on a medicine ball, squats, etc--feeling it this morning, but it's all good--on the homefront, Mom moves into her new apartment Tuesday; some stress there with getting things packed & done, making the arrangements with the movers--a few ensuing issues with that--& my Mom distraught over my Aunt's health & situation (her sister, & a lot of baggage with that particular long-time situation), work busier than ever (learning more & more of other people's work & functions, as we all are here with the new office mgr. & all)--so all-in-all, busy, busy, busy, every minute it seems filled with more & more to do & deal with & less time to do so (still catching up on a lot of my shows, DVR/on-demand, etc.)--anyway, time to dive into the workday as I finish my breakfast (& by the way, it's frigging COLD out there this morning!!)--until next time, my friends :)

Just a Thought (or two...)

So, briefly, before the day starts, I am officially starting the "boot camp" program I mentioned--starting this Saturday morning with boxing/kickboxing & then what's known as "interval training" during the week: weights/strength conditioning, etc.--looking forward to doing it--still kind of sitting at the same level weight-wise, but other areas are improved (body-fat better, legs are a bit smaller inch-wise & definitely stronger)--also, have been upping my own at-home exercise regimen; bought a couple of small weights & a jump rope recently, doing some every day as much as I can, plus have increased the walking & biking on a daily basis--sometimes, I don't even recognize myself with all this good health stuff (LOL)--anyway, time to dive into this pile of work staring @ me on my desk--we'll talk again soon, my friends (well, as soon as I ever get myself back on here!!)

Good Morning, One & All

So, here I am having my breakfast & once again, lamenting my lack of posting output, so I will just summarize some recent thoughts & musings: I have been mulling the next step in my wellness/health regimen which would be an 8-week "boot camp" as my nutritionist calls it to supplement the 12-week "de-clutter/reshaping" program I've been doing (with the daily tracking of food in a journal & such); she is also a strength & conditioning coach/trainer, etc.; now while it's true I have in past posts sounded off on what I felt was the good & bad & ups & downs of her methods, etc., she is right about one thing: all the change of diet, walking, biking, exercise, etc. is great & has produced enough if not as much of the results I would like (and yes, once again, I know I have done very well since this journey began, even though I get as frustrated as anyone else about any lack of recent progress weight-wise, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada), I'm in better shape than a year ago by far; I just need to tighten up the regimen & this may be the perfect way to do so--anyway, work already beckons & I will continue & re-visit this & other topics later--have a good day, all & we'll meet again soon (I hope!! LOL)

Crash-Test Dummy Hits The Wall Singing "Monday Monday"

Well, here I am, days from my last post AGAIN!! ;) LOL--oh well, it's just hard to keep up with life these days, but what can you do?? Starting my 1st Monday back to work; the pros: making back $$$ that I was losing with the extra off-day for quite some time, getting extra walking in (the usual 2-3miles I do Tues-Fri; I did walk & ride the bike on my off-days, but not as much, due to dr. appts, laundry, errands, helping my Mom with stuff, etc.); the cons: getting back up EARLY the extra day, dealing with the crowded buses (although, kinda empty & a very quick commute on both AND I left a few minutes later than usual), plus an extra day of dealing with some of the crazy people I work with, as well as the crazy doctors, patients, etc.--but, with all the recent developments here @ the job, I am being given some more & varied responsibilities & getting a slight bump in pay, so it will be worth it for the most part--as for last week & most of this past weekend: OO-FAH!!! ;@--talk about needing an extended Mulligan---anyway, one of the things that bothered me the most this past week/weekend is when I went to the nutritionist to get weighed & measured & hand in my food journal for review the other day (Saturday)--now I understand what her scale & digital body-fat measurement gizmo & measuring tape all say goes, but I have a problem with what she started me out at, weight-wise: 185--I know I've been no more than 180 for quite some time on several other scales (hit the wall & plateau for a little too long, but whatever...)--while according to her I've lost a coupla pounds & lost about a percent & half of body-fat, to be told the body-fat was back up a half & no weight-loss this time bummed me out--I've been doing OK with losing a half-to-a-full inch on my thighs, upper body, waist, chest, etc.--actually, my wife is more annoyed with the nutritionist than I am; she actually doesn't make it all that convenient to meet with her (granted, she conducts weight-training & other svcs. there, but I go for maybe a total of 15-20 minutes tops & live only 5 blocks away)--I average 2-3 miles walking & try to do a mile & 1/2- 2 miles on the bike plus I exercise every day as well--I have no fried foods & very little red meat; all chicken, turkey (& mostly low-sodium of both), pork, tuna, other seafood, tons of salad, veggies & fruit, I hardly ever drink even diet-soda anymore, all bottled water, Vitamin & Powerade Water Zero, I mix in a lot of de-caf coffee with regular, sugar-free creamers, not as much sweetener if @ all, and don't even drink as much Crystal-Lite type teas & drinks anymore, instead going with flavored sparkling waters--I know I'm hard on myself & get obsessive about this stuff (again, ME?? OBSESSIVE???), but no worse than a lot of others--anyway, that's my tale of woe (not really woeful, but sounded good!! LOL)--OK, time to get myself in gear--tty all soon, my friends :)

Puppy Love

Good afternoon, everyone (actually, I fully intended to start this post with "Good Morning", since I was going to write this while I was having my breakfast when I got here to work this morning, but that just didn't happen today, so it's a late lunch & some blogging...)--this time, it's just a love note to my sweet, beautiful, adorable & precious little puppy, Mazzie, whose birthday/anniversary my wife & I are celebrating today; amazingly, it's 2 years today we brought her home from North Shore Animal League--like anything else my wife & I do, there's a story there: on a very rainy & nasty weather day, September 28th, 2009, just under 2 months after we moved into our apartment (and, it should be noted, when our future-landlord showed us the apartment, he mentioned he not only had 2 dogs of his own & that it was a very dog-friendly neighborhood, but, after asking us if we liked dogs & my wife saying how she just lost a Pomeranian & had one before that & other dogs as well, if we wanted to, we could get a small dog & let it do its business in the backyard that joins our 1st floor apt. & his upstairs); well, that's all my wife had to hear, so on that September day, we ventured out to North Shore & after seeing all kinds of dogs, all shapes & sizes, etc. as you would there, an older staff worker brought around a scraggly, kind of sickly-looking Pomeranian named "Dolly" who was missing some hair, had no teeth, had a cataract in her left eye & as we also found it, had a benign tumor near her rear end but was so cute & wanting of love; being a puppy-mill dog, the cataract was from banging her head against the cage, the loss of her teeth was from neglect, etc., etc--one look & my wife was in love; she held her awhile then gave her to me--I looked in her eyes & said "I'm screwed, aren't I??" LOL--we wanted her right then & there & started the process; however, only being in our new apt. 2 months gave us no stable or credible residence info yet in their eyes; also, we needed a notarized reference letter from the landlord @ the very least--of course, we couldn't get him on the phone & ended leaving North Shore dejected & feeling as dreary as the weather (I don't envy the security guard who is like the "Angel of Death", killing people's hopes when they're turned down or denied a pet for whatever reason--when he called my wife's name, my heart sank)--luckily, after a rough nite between us, we re-grouped, focused & had an in as a notary would be @ the christening party we were attending the next day (a friend of ours); we got the landlord to hand-write a letter of reference for us; suffice it to say, we returned to North Shore Monday night (in almost WORSE weather!!) & successfully got our girl & took her home (but not before we almost physically tried keeping other people away from her in her oversized cage there--not really, but nearly so!!)--she never fails to warm & melt our hearts & brighten our worst days & nites; she's our life & we are so lucky to have her--good message here, folks: always adopt, never buy a pet; save a puppy or kitty's life & feel good about what you're doing for another of God's creatures---OK, lunch is done & now back to work--till next time, ciao for now :)

Hello, Yeah It's Been Awhile, Not Much, How 'Bout You?

So, as this post's title suggests (the opening line to the 70's song "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight"), my promise to myself to keep up more consistently with writing these things has totally fallen by the wayside--it's been almost a week since my last post & since it is now late Sunday evening & I'm not much longer for this night, I'll keep it short & sweet & come back to this tomorrow--I've fallen behind on everything from my favorite TV shows (amazingly, still have the finales to 6 of my shows from LAST season to watch & while I've watched a few of my season prmieres so far, I've DVR'ed the rest), newspapers, magazines, several blogs of other folks that I read--don't know how I let myself get to that point, but here I am; it's like a small plaque or a sign or something that my mom used to have: "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get!!" (I think turning 50 this past April slowed me down in that sense even further LOL)--oh well, just have to use a new day to start fresh--again, as I said in a previous post awhile back, maybe one of my best friends is right; all his kidding & ribbing aside, maybe I'm not a blogger at all--who knows if he IS right, but that's a discussion for another day--for now, though, I say Good Nite all :)

Let's Review (Again)...

So, here I am, coming towards the end of one of my last Mondays off (but for a good reason: with a new Office Manager in place @ my job the last few weeks--almost 3--I've been offered back the day that we all had involuntarily taken from us for budgetary reasons a little after the beginning of the year--the full-timers, that is--only 2 real semi-fulltime left @ this point); anyway, it was a HELLUVA weekend which, as I recounted in my Sunday nite closing post on FB, started well enough with the wife & I doing that "Veranda" thing at the House of DeRosa Friday Nite; Saturday morning was breakfast & errands after my wife had a quick blood test to take @ the dr's, then later picked up my mom & aunt to go to my niece/god-daughter's 8th b'day party (Eight? When did THAT happen??!!??); after a very nice, but chilly (cold!!) afternoon, we left around 8:15PM--she started having trouble breathing in the back of the car & long story short (plus 2 cops, an EMT & one ambulance ride later), we ended up taking her to the hospital with a bad breathing attack of her COPD & some other stuff--amazing how a good day can, as the saying goes "turn on a dime" & end up all topsy-turvy--she's home as of a little while, but we had a scary nite with her when it happened because it seemed she was going into shock even after the cops administered oxygen (she does the nebulizer in the morning & @ nite before bed, & is supposed to use an inhaler in-between--she had one with her, but forgot she had it & nobody thought to look in her purse; they & the EMT cop/techncian were terrific &, thanks to an inside connection of my sister's, Mom got taken right into the ER @ the hospital (Nassau University Medical Ctr), had multiple nurses, dr's, etc. working on her, taking tests, etc.--I was nervous because of how she couldn't stop shaking @ my sister's & was so nervous but only could muster painful dry-heaves several times before actually throwing up a little (the oxygen made her more nauseous after awhile--a real "Catch-22" because she needed it to breathe, but it was killing her stomach, etc.--has a sensitive stomach to begin with)--they were concerned she might have pneumonia (a touch of it was detected in the right lung) & that she might have a clot in the lung as well--yes to the pneumonia, no to the clot)--she was put on steroids & anti-biotics & will continue that @ home, plus follow-up w/ her pulmonary dr--this is the way with having an older parent or parents: you worry constantly about their health, their states of mind, etc.--the wife took my aunt home when all this happened, then came home to tend to the pup, who was going to be alone many more hours, so a quick visit & taking her out to do her business was needed--we didn't leave there till well after midnite (only less than 4 hours all-around, but she was about to get a room & told us to leave @ that point)--we saw her there yesterday, but of course, that nite & yesterday, she worries about everything else but herself to a point (like my aunt in the nursing home--what can you do for her or how can you visit her if you're in the hospital & can do nothing about it & have to worry about yourself??)--then yesterday was just breakfast @ home before we went, then back to the Veranda for a "wind-down"session to blow off steam & relax thanks again, to the DeRosas, our bestest friends :) Today, my wife, even more than me, was exhausted (even woke up late, unusual for her, but understandable)--and in-between all that, my nutritionist & I couldn't co-ordinate a time for me to come in for a weigh-in, measurements, etc.--trying for tomorrow after work, or else Saturday morning--still contiuing to walk, ride the bike, exercise, watch the diet, keep the journal, etc. (no slacking off just because I'm not seeing her--again, have to stick with the program as best as I can, especially in the face of any other life-crises, etc.--can't use any of that as excuses to eat the wrong stuff & not continue the regimen)--now, to watch some returning shows of ours & head to bed--until next time, dear people :)

I'm Just Sitting Here Watching The Wheels Go Round & Round...

As Al Bundy said many a-time to his wife, Peg: "Okay, OKAY, just a quick one, so I can go to bed & get some sleep!!!"; I see I've not been on here since Monday (DAMN!! I swore to myself I'd be more consistent writing these things), so the last few days in a capsule: mostly busy at work (we're still "breaking in" our new office manager who at the very least, comes with lots of experience doing medical billing & insurance work from her time @ the former Booth Memorial hospital); a whole lotta stuff for her to still learn & absorb, but we're all helping her as best we can--nice girl, quick to learn & very professional (the times they are a-changing)--been averaging around a mile a day (or nite, actually) so far on the bike since I started riding more as of this past Sunday (again, when I finally bought a pump for the tires); my body will still need more time to adjust to the extra physicality & strain, especially on my arms & legs, but well worth it--actually had to put on a heavy, wool-lined sweatjacket to go out there tonite (not just chilly, but COLD, I tell ya!!)--still getting myself used to the multiple smaller meals & snacks as well, still exercising, looking for at least a little progress every week, not some mondo results each time (slow & steady wins the race, as they say)--and now, since I am totally EXHAUSTED, I bid you all a fond adieu (or is that a fondue?? Hmmm...)--Good nite, kids :)

Weighing My Options....

Just a quick update today, my friends: after all my stressing about my 2nd weigh-in (this morning instead of this past Saturday because the wife & I had dr. appts & the nutritionist & I couldn't co-ordinate before she left  for the day @2PM), I ended up losing a pound, plus a half-inch off my thighs & I dropped .5% of body-fat; not bad in the space of 9 days since my 1st official weigh-in last week--to review, since I started this journey last October (November, officially, as far as the exercise, change of diet, etc.), at my best I had dropped 30lbs in the 1st 6 months or so; since then, I've done the basic "plateau" thing after a couple more pounds dropped & a flirtation with the same 180-182 weight; not complaining, mind you, but as my wife would tell you, I've become too obsessed with weighing myself (we bought a scale awhile back, but to keep the peace, I had to tuck it away in my bedroom closet; my decision) & I get weighed occasionally @ my doctor's office, but the mrs. is right: I should only get weighed by the nutritionist every week & leave it at that (I weigh myself on my mother's scale in-between whenever I'm there as well)--bottom-line, I made a small amount of progress, & actually, the nutritionist says that especially in the beginning, a half-pound to a pound lost each week is good & as long as you chip away @ the body-fat, so to speak, on a consistent basis, you'll be successful there as well--learning to refine my diet even more & keeping my food journal religiously; she was happier with more of my meal & snack choices & combos, still giving me lots of notes, suggestions & reminders--I'm still on the right track & intend to stay there; I stumble here & there & end up not happy with certain choices or certain eating days, but it will all even out--this is still the most I've done healthwise, all-around, probably in my entire life (even finally bought myself a bicycle pump yesterday, so I can pick up riding the bike on a more regular basis); in fact, about to take a quick ride to end the nite & probably total-up over 2 miles just since I got it, so, on that note, Good Nite :)

May You Always Remember And Never Forget...

Friends, one & all: I begin this post on the most solemn of days for us as New Yorkers, those in Pennsylvania & Washington DC & all over the world, with kind of a humorous touch; the title of today's offering is a line that was frequently spoken by the character of Duane Schneider, the handyman-dujour of the apartment building where the main characters lived on the mid-70's to mid-80's sitcom "One Day at a Time" whenever he was about to regale one or more of the other characters with his brand of "wisdom" & advice on any & all topics; it is more than appropriate as the title of today's post---as I started my good nite post on Facebook with last nite regarding today: "I have nothing profound to say that hasn't already been said..." and that holds true as I write this as well--I can remember that I was supposed to be going down to that area of the city for an interview; unbeknownst to me, my mother already had the first reports coming through on Channel 7 because she was watching her daily dose of Regis Philbin & his morning show--I was upstairs about to come down & have some breakfast when I got a call from an on/off girlfriend at the time asking me to turn on the TV & watch what was unfolding...several of my close friends were down there that day (one I didn't know at the time, the wife of one of my best friends) & one of my closest & dearest friends is EMS & was there & not heard from for well over 24 hours or more (I text him today as I do every year just to tell him I was thinking about him & telling him to be safe)--I remember trying to call the company I was going to for the interview & of course, the phone just rang & rang (probably more downed lines than no one being there)--like everyone else you'd ask, I can't believe it's been 10 years; & just to re-iterate also from last nite's sign-off FB post, as sad & solemn as this day is, we don't need an "anniversary" to remember all those lost in all the locations where these atrocities occurred, or to continue to pray for all the families of all the victims, or to be thankful for & bless the ones who survived--they are all in our hearts every day & especially as New Yorkers, if we are in the city or anywhere near it, we think of, if not actually see where the Towers used to stand, we remember their majestic beauty, we are sad & angry & a host of different emotions for their not being there--it's a given that none of us will ever forget; we shouldn't forget, we should remember what was done & we should get down on our knees & thank whatever God we each pray to that we are still here to talk about that day, for better or worse--it's a shame that we feel we have to be on our guards every day & worry about the next threat (like the other day) or the possibility of the next attack; it's a shame that we look at those who remind us of the perpertrators of that day & do our own form of "profiling" aside from what is done in that vein, legally or not (a constant debate, for sure)--anyway, before I completely live up to this blog's title again, let's all light a candle, proudly display the American flag & pray for peace & the absence of the kind of religious fanaticism & revenge on any scale that caused this to be an anniversary of any kind--I wish you all peace; be safe & be strong, my dear friends & loved ones--Good Nite :)

No wonder they call it "London Fog" (because that's what I'm in most of the time--my clouded & feeble mind, not the raincoat!!)

Good morning, one & all: So, the problem with blogging here @ work, as I tried to do again the other day during lunch, is that if you get distracted, you don't finish (me? DISTRACTED?? Imagine...?)--even during lunch, like most jobs, the phones still ring constantly & no matter how many people may be in that day or not, everybody's always doing something; so, I never got much past the opening paragraph, didn't bother reviewing or saving what I wrote & (full disclosure here), don't actually remember where my mind was taking my thoughts that day (again: IMAGINE?? LOL)--anyway, here's a little catch-up post: on Monday, as she said she would, my nutritionist e-mailed me a customized program laying out all I need to know to get this endeavor more fine-tuned & running; a more detailed breakdown of what my intake should be as far as carbs/fats/diary/meats/veggies/snacks, etc. throughout a normal day of eating--also, how many a calories a day I should be taking in & focusing on, reminders of what I should eat more or less of overall, etc.--so last nite, the wife & I did some grocery shopping & I got pretty much all the stuff outlined in the packet she sent; like most folks who do these kinds of diets (formalized like Atkins/South Beach, etc. or with a nutritionist or combination of both), I have to already get used to eating multiple smaller meals & snacks throughout the day--now don't get me wrong, eating has never been a problem for me, & as most people will tell you, big portions have always been how I roll & portion control never my big forte (although I was getting better even before I embarked on this new road last October/November)--but since I am serious about this whole thing (& am also trying to increase my walking--did a total of 3 & a 1/2 miles total yesterday, adding up all I did before & between my 2 buses, between the 2nd bus & work, after work in-between the transportation, then before I actually got home, did a good mile & a 1/2 of that to finish up; I do have to do more of the biking consistently (haven't filled the tires lately--not a good excuse I know, but all the rain hasn't helped my desire to do that either) & I exercise @ least 2x a day (mostly morning & evening, but I add some during the day: power-walking in place, knee & leg-lifts, stretches, etc)--but it's all good, & will continue to get better (this way, you all can continue to be thrilled & entertained by a ever-healthier me for years to come!! Okay, don't all clap & be excited at once!!  LOL)--until next time, folks :)

Weekend Update (Good Night & Have a Pleasant Tomorrow!!)

So, just a wrap-up of the last coupla days: Friday nite, the wife & I & another friend just hung out with our compadres, The DeRosas, for a kind of "Veranda Lite" compared to the big end-of-summer BBQ blowout they threw yesterday; just enjoyed the beautiful nite, ordered some Chinese food (I was good, just tasted a crab rangoon & a coupla pieces of General Tso's chicken, but had tofu with veggies & brown rice for my main course)--did have a few beers, but nothing crazy--then Saturday morning was the "Big Event" that I chronicled my thoughts & apprehensions about the other day (my 1st weigh-in with the nutritionist & our subsequent meeting/Q & A)--had a lite breakfast before I walked over--went OK, but I think I was disappointed with my results on the scale--I've been hovering just above & around 180-182 for quite awhile (& again, not too shabby of course, roughly 35 lbs in 9 months or so, but no real progress there the last few months)--on her scale, I was 185--on mine, I'm 182 (on my mom's scale, I'm exactly 180!!)--anyway, we had a good one-on-one meeting (to re-cap: the big meeting/weigh-in/group discussion got tabled when most of the folks cancelled--start of the holiday weekend a big factor, I'm sure)--she measured my body fat (26%--which she called "fair" according to a chart she showed me) & we discussed again my long-term goals (I'd like to get down to 170, but 175 would be a good end-point), adding strength-training to what is mostly cardio I do (all the walking, some biking, the exercisies, etc), further changes we'll make to the diet itself, keeping up with the food journal--afterwards, the wife & I did some shopping & errands (got some added walking in that way & did my own errand with some more walking--maybe a mile for the day)--now, back to the big BBQ yesterday: we got there around 3:30pm & brought among other things, a veggie platter with veggie dip; I started mostly on that & some healthy chips & wheat crackers that were served; also, I brought a pack of pre-made turkey burgers for myself & anyone else who might want one (I had one of those plain, with no cheese/condiments/bun) & focused on the mixed green salad & a few others (pasta & veggies, some sauteed string beans & an awesome ken-wah concoction a friend made)--full disclosure, I had a chunk or 2 of smoked kielbasa, a forkful of pulled pork & later on towards the end of the nite, a regular burger with a slice of cheese plus a few small sugar-free desserts (a brownie & a pie)--I will say I had some lite beers, but again not crazy (moderation is the key, as they say)--this was all spread out over 7 hours or so (probably the closest I've come to the multiple "little meals" througout a day--the nutritionist said I should be doing more of that, in the sense of balancing my meals, snacks, etc. in any given day--I've been pretty much doing that, but always room for improvement)--I do understand that a changed or continually-evolving diet plus continued & increased exercise will give me my best results--she told me I'd be surprised how many people don't grasp the basics of that as well as they should--I certainly don't want to exericse just to enjoy whatever foods I want, but I have basically cut out fried foods, excessive salt, no sugar (though she'd like me to use more of a refined or natural/brown/sugar or the like), more whole wheat products, more grains, etc.--the bottom line is, I want to make sure I get the most out of this 12-week program, the weekly weigh-ins that started with yesterday's, change/re-fine/re-do what I need to, whatever it takes--the irony aside, as a good friend mine always says: "I'm not here for a haircut!!" (well, DUHHHHH!! LOL)--now in the words of Dennis Miller (to end on a "Saturday Night Live" note the way I started with this post's title), "I---am---OUTTA HERE!!" :)

The Weighing Is The Hardest Part...

So, just a quick post whilst I finish my lunch: one of my previous posts dealt with a particularly busy food weekend (multiple bbq's; more heavy & less healthy stuff, etc.)--I bring this up because yesterday afternoon, we had a farewell lunch for our office manager (& my good friend of the last 6 years) & I had already started the day with my usual 3/4 to a mile walking combined from leaving home, before/between & after the buses to work; then after a lite breakfast here (had a little something & coffee & bottled water @ home 1st), I had 2 big plates of salad & dressing, some pasta w/ ala vodka sauce, 1 & a half pieces of chicken (in a francaise sauce) then last nite, the wife & I ordered Chinese for the 1st time in quite awhile (stayed pretty healthy: tofu & veggies, brown rice, steamed veggie dumplings & a treat of a coupla small fried wontons); I had done some extra walking between buses on the home due to the lunch & exercised a few times before work & at home, then after the 2nd bus, did a mile & half alone (just under 3 miles for the day); this all brings me to point out that this Saturday (was originally Friday) is the meeting & weigh-in with the new nutritionist (been keeping the food journal steadily & for every meal & snack as per her instructions & taking her advice & suggestions as to how to change things here & there for the better); guess I'm a little nervous about the weigh-in; I've been holding steady, floating around 180 all this time (down 35 lbs since I first started all this last October/November), but still feel more times than not, that I'm at the bottom of a very tall & wide wall to scale & get over (hence, the phrase "hitting the wall"); I shouldn't worry so much, I guess; I know I'm doing good (more & more people notice & compliment my results all the time); also, it's not like I don't weigh myself (we have a scale in the bedroom, I get weighed in doctors' offices, etc.)--I think because it's the 1st time I'm doing such a regimented program of controlled/changed eating & notating my results, etc., it's stressing me out (ME?? STRESSED OUT?? Imagine that--LOL)...anyway, back to work; as always, I'll keep you all "posted"-- ciao 4 now :)

God Only Knows...

Hello, all--well, quick post-Irene update: we were very fortunate that we sustained no damage to the house we live in, although our landlord's son got some flooding in his basement apartment (karma's a bitch!! I know, I know, be nice--those of you in the loop will understand LOL)--the neighborhood was a mess of leaves & branches, twigs, etc.--a friend who lives not far from here (& only a few blocks from my old house) did have a treet fall on his house, causing significant damage to the roof, gutters & top of his chimney (he & his family are OK) & many of my friends in the tri-stae area had either no power, flooding or both, so again, we were very fortunate--but like many of you I'm sure, this gets me thinking about the age-old theory of how there can be a God of any kind if all the terrible things that happen, the hurricanes, earthquakes, tornados, floods, tsunamis, etc. & all they leave in their wake, keep occurring & have been occuring forever (not to mention the ravages of war, the senseless death & destruction throughout the world on a daily basis--well if not, then it just seems so)--all this also rattles around in my head (as I also mentioned in my previous post) as we inch closer to the upcoming 10th anniversary (& I just hate attaching that phrase to something of this magnitude) of 9/11, which is another whole discussion in itself how any God would let this happen (but then again, it's the "gods" of the people responsible who directed them to attack us & punish us, is it not??)--I realize I'm just blathering on as so many do on this topic, & who am I to offer any thought or opinion on the subject, but I grew up & was raised Catholic (baptism, religious instruction, communion, confirmation, church youth & folk groups & Church day camps (as an attendee in my youth, then helping to run them), Catholic high school, some of my college career @ a Catholic university, married in the church, yada yada yada)--full disclosure: my Catholicism has waned significantly all these years later due mainly to my disillusionment with the Church as a whole (I've always been interested in many different forms of worship & the teachings thereof; when I lived for 4 years in Florida in my teens, I had more Jewish friends than not, & actually was more in touch with my Jewish half, attending many seders & countless bar & bat mitzvahs, & even accompanying my best friend @ the time to many of his lessons before his own bar mitzvah), but I, like so many before me, wrestle with this on a daily basis; I even felt like a hypocrite @ my own wedding, standing before God to bless my union to my wife (like a lot of people, attending any sort of occasions that involve the Church was my main form of church-going)--I don't know if I will resolve my own issues on the subject before my time is through, so how can I dare to ponder the issue in reference to anyone or anything else?? Like the King of Siam famously said: "It is a PUZZLEMENT!!" I would love to believe in Heaven like I was taught, & that all the good people end up there; I have not, however always been a good person (& not always convinced I'm as much of one these days as I'd like to be), & don't know if to this day, I am even deserving of a place up there & not a one-way ticket down THERE instead (I always joke that, like the line from the Grateful Dead song, "I may be going to Hell in a bucket, but at least I'm enjoying the ride!!" LOL)--this may just be one of those on-going personal dilemmas that never fully gets resolved & just something that is a continuing work-in-progress of a life-lesson (or to paraphrase George Carlin, I may just be "full of sh#t and f&#king nuts"!!---on that note, I think it's time I put this one & myself to bed--sweet dreams, boys & girls :)

It's The End Of The World As We Know It..

So, let's review: in less than a week, we have had 2 earthquakes, a tornado & a hurricane; what the flock is going here? I've seen a lot of crazy things weather-wise in my life, but this short span of meterological madness beats all; watching all the coverage of Hurricane Irene before & almost all day after the wife & I ventured out early this morning to stock up on groceries, etc., you see all the images & all the reporters getting variously soaked & nearly blown-away, & you hear all the details, you watch press conferences & updates from the Mayor & the Governor, but even now, as I hear the steady, heavy rains pelting my doors & windows, you somehow still find it hard to fathom what's happening & what's supposed to still be coming--everyone keeps saying various versions of this, to each other, on Facebook & everywhere else, but in all seriousness, we have obviously pissed off the big man upstairs (no, NOT my landlord!! LOL), because this is just some CRAZY shit; seeing & hearing about all the shutdowns of mass transit, major roads, bridges & thruways, all the evacuations (& all the people who refuse to leave their homes), as well as the afore-mentioned requisite soggy weather & news reporters & anchors, we are truly getting bitch-slapped for a litany of transgressions against the powers-that-be (I believe the technical term is "Oo-FAH!!"); and then to see that by Tuesday, the forecast is nice weather the rest of the week, well then, sure, why not?? Let's have almost- debilitating wind & rains, flooding, power outages, & widespread panic (the emotion, not the band), fear & general hysteria for 3 days, minimum--I just think that we all need to make sure we did all we could to prepare for it & deal with it & get thru it as best as we can; 1st & foremost, we're New Yorkers, dammit, & it's going to take a lot more than this (no matter how much of a test this is) to break our spirits & test our resillience; it's scary & unnerving to have to deal with the weather when it's this severe & this threatening, but we've done it before & we'll do it again; with the 10th anniversary of 9/11 (and even typing "10th anniversary", I can't believe it) exactly 2 weeks away, this doesn't come close to what we can endure, no matter how painful & devastating--and so I say Good Nite to you all & tell you to be safe & be smart--peace, my friends :)

Random Thoughts Part 2

As I wind down the nite & head to bed shortly, I just wanted to get this particular subject out of my head & onto the "page" before me; while hanging out with a couple of buddies last nite & a local establishment (one a friend of over 6 & 1/2 years & the other, one of my 2 best friends & someone I've known almost 28 years), the long-time friend, who gets up way earlier for work than I & most people I know do, mentioned he had to get going soon (we had, the 3 of us, consumed some libations, & smokes, sports on TV, & loud & rowdy patrons all-around us were involved as well--but it wasn't a bar or pub, just to make that clear); he said to the other friend "and you have to get home to your wife & Steve has to go home & blog!!"); when I said that if "I don't blog tonite, I'll just do one tomorrow", this friend of over 1/2 my life looked @ me & said "then you're not a BLOGGER, you're a POSTER"--I have to say, folks, that I was a bit insulted; have I failed to live up to the rules of the blog-o-sphere? Have I not adhered to the "Code of Blogging", or the "Tao" of it, if you will?? He insisted that bloggers blog EVERY DAY; I told him I beg to differ--I don't think I am any less a blogger than my one long-time friend who does blog every day (sometimes several times in one day) because she started doing one to co-incide with a new diet & lifestyle she was embarking on (which would mainly touch on & record her continued results & progress along the way) or my sister who, with a full-time career, a radio gig tied into her career, 2 kids, a husband, a house AND a side career as a lead singer in a rock & roll band that plays out many a gig as it has progressed, blogs when she can--when I started this endeavor, I said this may be of no interest to anyone but me; I was inspired to start a blog from the 2 very same people I just described AND, maybe in a larger sense, this same friend of 28 years who always busted my chops calling my nitely Facebook posts "blogs" (all of which I stated in my very 1st one); it's probably silly & a bit shallow to take offense to his needling me about this subject last nite, but I didn't think not writing one of these every single day precludes me from being serious about it or a real "blogger" by any means; well, I think I qualify to do this as much as anyone, if for no other reason than you basically need no qualifications to do it, just a passion of some sort, a topic to expound on, a gripe or 2 or 3 to air out, something profound to say, a poem or lyric tor a story to share or something that is almost nothing but a stream-of-consciousness from your mind that needs to be set free & see the light of day (or afternoon, or night, or...); that's MY story & I'm sticking to it--and so, I say Good Nite & I will see you the next time I feel the urge to return (when-EVER that may be)

I Feel The Earth Move Under My Feet...

Well now, don't that beat all, as the saying goes; an early afternoon earthquake yesterday that people felt all along the eastern seaboard, it seems--here at work, some of us thought we were crazy; my office mgr. thought it was a sign she was about to faint; I thought (thankfully not) that maybe I was having a bit of a medical episode of sorts; my mom in Whitestone, Queens, felt it sitting in her recliner in the den as did my aunt in Brooklyn (same circumstances); my wife, who works in Connecticut until they move her company to Queens in January, felt it & my friend, who actually lives in Virginia & works a little over 80 miles from where this seems to have originated, had to be evacuated from her office building, as did my sister out in Long Island--even at Yankee Stadium, as I watched the post-game re-cap last nite, they showed footage of the announcers area (nobody there @ the time) shaking just enough from side-to-side; crazy, I tell ya--it sure dominated all the news shows & social networks (amazing how many "Post-Earthquake Party" listings started popping up all over; my wife's cousin posted a funny picture of 4 small lawn chairs with one tipped over to show some of the "devastating damage" LOL)--also some very funny posts all around; in all seriousness, though, amazing & scary stuff & could've been a lot worse (of course, native Californians all over that state are mocking us & scoffing @ us as we speak & since this happened yesterday & rightly so; the threat of an earthquake is always the 800-pound gorilla in the room when you live there, that's for sure)--well, as I finish my lunch, just thought I'd expound less-than-profoundly on the subject--later, tomatoes :)

From "Happy" to "Sleepy" to "Grumpy" to "Dopey" (Oh, wait, those are names of dwarves, too?? Hmmm...)

Hello again--as I close out the weekend, let me explain the title of today's post: It seems that I personally ran quite the gamut of emotions & states of physical & mental being the last couple of days--it started with some plans yesterday morning that had me up a little earlier than I would've been in light of what I thought a friend of mine & I were doing (although I woke up in a good enough mood--the "happy", Part 1); the ensuing plans & the day were a lot more varied & action-packed by just mid-day; my friend & I ended up hanging out & preparing for the nite's activities a lot ealier, did a lot of errands & running around, but we did get to spend some "guy-time" together more close-to-home (the women-folk joined us in stages as the day progressed)--by the time I got home, it added up to a 16-hour day (combining the rest of the"happy"--good food, libations, some nice smokes & good company as always--with the "sleepy" by the time I got to bed, after 1:30am, including some last-minute cleaning-up from the pup, some kitchen-duty, etc.)--then this morning, I woke up in a less-than-good mood that I couldn't seem to shake all day--the "grumpy"--barely out of bed & snapping at the wife, & after some breakfast & finally getting out of the house & picking up my mom to all do some shopping & errands, I was kind-of unbearable for the most part, a lot of it in some very public places, & ended up feeling pretty bad about it--too much "sweating the small stuff" as I referenced in an earlier post, & my wife & mom bore the brunt of all that--after the mrs. & I dropped mom off & got home, I was still out-of-sorts & not right the rest of the day (hence the "dopey"part) until I made us some dinner, relaxed a bit more & put myself in a better mood to not end the day & weekend on a bad note--bottom-line, it wasn't the kind of Sunday it should've been or we all expected--I blew the "small stuff" up to ridiculous proportions (although not ALL my fault, the point is I take most of the blame)--I know I get more frustrated at some stuff than I should, but some of those closest to me have to cut me some slack sometimes as well as pick up some of the slack when I falter & maybe remember that we all do things that irk each other, but when some of those things are repetitive & happen more than they should, people do get frustrated--it has to be as much "give and take" as anything else, not just in marriage, but in all aspects of human interaction--I guess what I'm trying to say is, when I'm off on my usual tangents, & have to remember how those around me usually act & react to things, we all have to take responsibility for what we say to each other & how we treat each other, & all have to correct the nagging & negative stuff, not just expect each other to fall in line & act accordingly; none of us are perfect & human beings as a rule somehow find it easier to expect others to unpack our "emotional baggage" for us every time & be the ones to change our behaviors, not to do it ourselves...but even though, as Billy Joel sang "You're Only Human--you're SUPPOSED to make mistakes", it's nobody's job but our own to correct those mistakes & not repeat them, especially when they're at the expense of those we hold dear--just because they will always love us & vice-versa, doesn't make it right--so we have to make it right the best we can & remember that we can always do better--and on that note, I say Good Nite--peace & love, my friends :)

I Think I Can.....THINK?

So as I sit & have my lunch here at work, I ponder the following (& this actually happened last nite; I was going to post this before bed, but, well, poster-child for ADD that I can be, that was then, this is now)--I went to my local pharmacy to pick-up some of my meds & order a refill on one; I also needed to get a new supply of test strips for my blood-sugar meter--let me preface this with several pertinent facts: my wife & I generally do like the people who work in that store (give or take a few "fache brutes"--most of you know that phrase; the rest of you can look it up online!! LOL), plus it's close-to-home (3 blocks away)--the pharmacists, as a whole, are great; very helpful & one in particular has gone out of his way to help me above & beyond the norm (he's gotten on the phone with my previous insurance & battled with them several times, etc.)--anyway, when I presented our brand-new flexible-spending insurance card that goes with our new coverage (& which I just got in the mail yesterday), the one pharmacist tested the card to make sure it was activated by putting thru the box of strips I wanted (I understood that & saw him do it)--confusion reigned after that (we confused each other because I wasn't sure if I was getting the 50's or 100's, what the price was, etc.); I did make it clear that I needed & wanted the strips--after all that & adding my other purchases, he rang everything up (or so I thought)--I left, walked home & looked in the bag & lo & behold, NO STRIPS!!--if I hadn't had a detailed discussion with the guy, I could see it--now before any of you say "well, it was an honest mistake", know this: I called them, spoke to him as it happened & he explained that "Oh, well I didn't actually ring that up for you; I just did it to test the card & then refunded it--I didn't realize that you wanted them today & um, you know, I had you sign the receipt, remember?" (um, no, you had me sign so many slips, it must've "slipped" my mind!!)--luckily, as I said before, they're right up the road, so....my point in all this is, I'm bad enough memory-wise these days (& my capacity for logic is more than a bit frayed around the edges, much-less my ability to sometimes string together more than 2 lucid or interesting thoughts @ a time)--I will admit, ladies & gentlemen, that all this is nothing more than an over-flowing stream of consciousness to while away my lunch hour in place of reading the papers or magazines for once; today, you all can just call me "Mr. Mundane" (please don't tell me if most of you have to look that word up), but I do try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt that are are more with-it these days than I am; that wouldn't take much, folks, trust me :)--oh well, back to work (@ least it's Friday)--I'll be out tonite & may not get to post, so I'll say so long for now, one & all...

You Are What You Eat (And Sometimes You Feel That Way, Too)

Hello, Mr. & Mrs. America & all the ships at sea (to paraphrase the great & legendary columnist, Walter Winchell)--I only just realized this morning that I haven't blogged in days (mea culpa, mea culpa, apologies & regrets to any of you that actually care!! LOL)--just wanted to catch you all up on the past few days in general: busy, busy @ work; changes afoot (a major player leaving, & all the ramifications thereof); my dear wife has been burning the midnight oil (almost literally LAST nite; she got home, as Clapton would say "After Midnight"--much overtime this week); & last nite, while waiting & hoping that she was joining me @ a friend's BBQ locally (they had some out-of-state relatives of in), I kinda overdid it a bit with eating (at least as far as how & what I DON'T eat as much of these days); while I won't bore you with the details, & especially for the middle of the week (& because I got home much later than planned when the poor wifey was still stuck @ work with system problems/shut-downs, etc), I felt for the 1st time in a very long time that I ate out of frustration (missing my wife, her staying longer & longer @ work; they're still located in CT & not moving permamently to LIC, Queens until January--although I knew she'd hit less & less traffic the later she left, still concerned); I felt so bloated & so full (even though a mixed salad, orzo & corn-on-the-cob were served, probably having some more meats than I usually do now @ one sitting did me in), that I got home & did some exercises, drank a 20 oz bottle of water & lamented it being too late to walk or take the bike out (I only got home shortly BEFORE midnite, getting a ride home from a friend also in attendance when it was definite the wife was not making it); so glad this new nutrition program I'm starting will jump & kick-start my less-chubby-than-it-used-to-be ass into gear (and it was never the biggest part of my weight gains over the years to begin with)--I guess I was just disappointed with myself, is all; don't get me wrong, it's not like I haven't treated myself here & there over the last 9 months since I started with the changed diet, walking, exercise, etc. (everything in moderation, as they say), but I think this was (no pun intended; ok, maybe a little LOL) the real tipping point for me--I can't promise myself I won't ever feel frustrated during the upcoming 12-weeks of this new program (anytime you make changes, drastic or not, to your diet, physical make-up, etc. & then veer off the path, you want to get right back in line & move forward even stronger & more focused, especially if you're serious about those changes); it's time to put my money where my mouth is, not extra calories---until next time, friends :)

More Is Less...

Greetings, one & all, on a Monday that just hasn't been sure what it wants to do weather-wise: gray & cloudy, rainy & sunny, breezy & warm; well, as the Mamas & The Papas sang: "Monday, Monday...Can't trust that day"--so, as I alluded to in yesterday's post, I have taken the next step in my quest for better health & better living: this morning I enrolled in a 12-week nutrition program (called "De-Cluttering & Re-Shaping") at a local fitness center--let me say first of all, that I have passed this place & the adjoining gym/martial arts studio/etc. countless times on my neighborhood walks in the 2 years we have lived in this area; it's on the same block as a 24-hour food market that we frequent at least several times a week (you pretty much can get everything & anything there; I get a lot of good fruit & produce there, they have a great deli counter, fresh breads & rolls, etc., a self-serve coffee counter, you name it)--so on our way to go food-shopping last Thursday nite, we passed by & I jotted the number down & called the next day to ask about signing-up (today was actually the last day to do so)--I went there this morning & met with the lady I spoke to (a personal trainer & nutrition expert)--let me add here that when I went back to my old doctor & started this medical journey last October, one of the doctors & people he referred me to was a CDE (Certified Diabetes Educator) not far from me here in Flushing--I went twice, in November & December & was very gung-ho about keeping a food journal, charting my progress, getting weighed-in, etc.--by my 2nd visit, after beginning to adjust my diet, starting my walking regimen, cutting out my beloved stogies, I already went from my starting weight of 214 down to 210 (4 lbs in a month; not too shabby!!)--in between all this, I went to a cardiologist, had many tests done & it was determined (for those of you who DON'T know) that I would need to have a catheterization done & having one or more stents put in was a possibility because my heart was not pumping enough blood to all the vessels, to put it mildly; fast-forward to November 30th, stent  #1 to fix the worst of the blockages, stent #2 on January 11th to (luckily) fix only a 2nd one (3rd one determined to be very small & ok)--so after the 1st visit to the nutritionist (a nice-enough woman, kinda quirky but helpful), after the 1st stent, I still wanted to go to her & after the 2nd visit, I still had to wait to see when the 2nd procedure was going to be scheduled; jump to after the 2nd stent done, & I had actually lost weight both times I was in the hospital (because you are on fluids, etc. before the procedure--luckily, though they prepared me, both went through my wrist & NOT the groin--whew!! LOL--& then you have a bit to eat afterwards & a light breakfast the next morning, for me, more diabetic-themed)--and although she said she would follow-up, I never heard from this woman again, & when I called several times to make another appt., she was away once, and didn't return my call the 2nd time, so, as my wife told me & I agreed, I had already made major changes in my eating & diet, I was exercising, etc., so forget her--but back to our story; I will be keeping another food journal as of today which I will bring to the new place at the end of this week, the trainer will make notes & suggestions, I pick it up & implement them & then there is a one-time, 90-minute meeting/session of education, materials, counseling, etc. with an initial weigh-in 2 weeks from this Friday; then I will be continuing the journal & weigh-ins throughout the process--I will say the only thing I was disappointed about was that, the way this program was listed on the sandwich-board sign outside with other programs, I thought some sort of exercise regimen was included in the price (maybe some weights, stretching, whatever)--I should have realized it was so reasonable because none of that was part & parcel of this offer (and if I ever want to do any of the personalized training programs, etc., I can do so down the line)--no matter; I will continue as I have been--this will be good because from this point on, I could do even better with a more-regimented program to follow & that could only help me nutrition & eating-wise as the fall & winter months approach--either way, I'm excited about starting this next facet of my quest for a better me--& with that, I leave you until next time :)

Let's Review...

3 days since my last post; my, how time flies when you're having fun!! ;)
Hello, friends--just a re-cap of the last couple of days, since I haven't spoken to you since last Thursday: Friday nite was our mostly-usual trip to the "Veranda" as it's known (an oasis of relaxation, food, libations & laughs in front of my good friends' apartment building; we were treated to some yummy BH snacks & the BBQ skills of the Grillmaster of Flushing himself, Ralphie D. & the beers were cold as always); on Saturday, my wife & I both went to NJ for different reasons: she took her mother to a surprise 80th b'day party for a dear friend's mother (and had a great time with some folks she hadn't seen or talked to in ages), & I joined the aforementioned Ralphie D. to meet a couple of friends of his from work & do the "guy" thing @ one of the big cigar store/lounge/bar places there; we've been trying to do this for awhile, & it was well worth it--these guys are great & hilarious & just a total blast; glad we finally got to make it happen--last nite, we returned to the "Veranda", sat outside in-between the raindrops, & just ordered in (still had the cold brews--nice!!)--went out to breakfast with my Mom this morning, but couldn't go back to Jersey for an afternoon christening because of the torrential rains we've had all day; disappointing, but with reports of flooding everywhere, especially roadways & areas we'd be on or passing thru, it just wasn't worth it to drive thru all that--so, we've been just taking it easy, watching the tube, doing the FB thing, playing our games on here, etc.--can't even do any walking or ride my bike outside, so will exercise indoors, maybe do one of the on-demand cable walking videos I haven't done for awhile (I will have an update on my next phase of fitness tomorrow, folks, so stay tuned)--anyhoo, that's all the news that's fit to print for now; sorry if this post wasn't more exciting or entertaining, but they can't all be winners!! Until we meet again.....

Random Thoughts....

So as this Thursday evening comes to a close shortly, just a few things rattling around in my head to mull over: one of the recent GEICO commercials (which have thankfully scrapped focusing on the "Cavemen"; more annoying than not) starts off with that 1940's-looking & sounding pitchman asking "Can switching to GEICO really save you 15% or more on your car insurance? Do some people use smart phones to do DUMB things?"--basically, why do smart PEOPLE do dumb things? In the last 24 hours, I have been made painfully aware (as have others in an organization I am a part of for the last 6 years, one I originally was in many years ago) of a close friend of many years, maybe not a rocket scientist, but seemingly an intelligent enough human being, involving themselves in some very suspect behavior which will ultimately cause their downfall, affecting their life & career in a number of devasting ways--1st & foremost, I am truly shocked if what is being said even has an ounce of truth to it; I really don't believe this person is that stupid--but recent reported events don't paint them in a very flattering light--they have too much at stake in their lives to throw it all away like this--he has also put this organization in a bad position as well--being right there in the trenches of this emerging situation, I don't know if this will end any way but badly & it makes me sad & angry at the same time--plus, several others in the group (though not in upper levels as I have been in the past couple of years) have already been drawn into this, though not to the level that the person in question has--I have always considered myself a fairly intelligent person, but I have done enough stupid things in my life to have had many people I've known throughout my life (family & friends combined) shake their heads in disbelief or worse yet, lose all faith & respect in me, & the fact that a lot of those people are still in my lives (some I have hurt badly or disappointed time & time again, no matter how long ago it was) has everything to do with their characters & capacity for forgiveness & compassion & nothing to do with me--I have burned many a bridge in my past & had to work like Hell to gain all that back with too many people--I don't know if this person can do that at this point--and as the saying goes "more's the pity"--apparently, this has all gone down in just the last month or so, but has been brewing or had the germ of it sewn many months ago when our organizational endeavors began--I am glad I've recently begun this blog to be able to lay this out on here & vent--I have only discussed it with my wife & one other person (both are involved in this group as well), but needed to get it off my chest even more, and as anyone who has ever written poetry, musical lyrics, essays, journals, diaries, etc. will tell you, sometimes you have to see it on paper (or your computer screen or whatever) to really get your feelings out--I can't truly say this has made me feel better about the situation, but it helps in a fashion--and so, now I think I've exhausted the point & I'm exhausted as well, so I say Good Nite to you all :)

When Did THAT Happen??

Good Evening, Ladies & Gents; time to get something random off my chest--but first, a correction of sorts: in my 2nd blog, MIRACLES & SPECTACLES, I ended by emploring all of you out there to "Embrace & enjoy life the best you can, my friends--as corny as it always sounds, everything & anything can change in an instant"--well, I realize that the tone of my last blog was my lamenting to a great extent my feeling like I don't appreciate all the things I do have & should be thankful for in my life enough, & dwelling on either what I don't have, what doesn't go right, etc. (you know, the cop-out of easily picking out the negative elements in life)--if I do nothing else in this new endeavor of blogging, I must be consistent, in thoughts & words--let me just say, I think I do my best to embrace life (not always successfully, but I make the effort)--I truly am glad to be alive & to wake up every morning when not so long ago, they could've not been the case--I promise to strive for more of backing up what I say with words as well as deeds--OK, next (and lastly): I'm not sure you've all seen these yet, but I notice that on my blogs, as well as 2 others that I read, random words will be in purple and double-underlined (like a web address or e-mail)--when you click on them, you get these annoying "ArcadeWeb" pop-up boxes that are basically advertising & look like Yellow Page-type ads--where did this come from all of a sudden? Has marketing/advertising/subliminal suggestion gone too far?? Depending on the word, the pop-up refers you to a service or company that has something to do with it--it's the original "Big Brother" (the one "watching you" from George Orwell's literary masterpiece, "1984", not the reality show!!) all over again--WTF, people?? You mean to tell me we bloggers & our followers can't even go about our business without any less-than-subtle, Pavlovian (look it up if you don't know what it refers to--I'm just saying!!) prodding & poking--a friend of mine from the theater group I'm a part of (who started out as a dad bringing his daughter down to audition for shows & got sucked into the vortex that is community theater) posts on his rantings & ravings & things that get under his skin on FB under the heading "You know what grinds my gears??"--well, this would be a perfect example of what grinds mine...on that note, time to head off to bed, as I see that time has completely gotten away from me once again--until next time, dear readers :)

Let It Be...(If You Can)

Well, here we are again, my friends--I realize it's been a few days since my last post, mostly a combination of lots of activity & no real topic or thoughts of interest (to me, anyway) popping into the cavernous space that is my head--but I do have a few bits of rumination to touch on, so here goes:

One of the Beatles' most famous & enduring (as well as endearing) songs is LET IT BE--I've come to understand that the 1st verse of that timeless tune relates to me more than I ever thought it would; having obviously found my soul mate in my wife, Mary Kay, I've been thinking lately that I wouldn't be where I am in my lfe as far as having someone who is always there for me no matter what life throws at me (or us) without her; of course, one of the main parts of the wedding vows that most everyone takes is "for better or for worse, in sickness & in health"--having a routine check-up with my doctor today, now that we're back on regular benefits & coverage after a few months of idling without it, got me to thinking that after going back to my old doctor & starting up with a slew of new ones as of last October, having several heart procedures since then (with no real symptoms of such preceding them), being back on regular meds, taking more of them than ever for my various conditions, I continue to make progress in most areas, better in some than others, but overall, I'm doing OK (considering that before 10 months ago, I hadn't been on regular meds, hadn't yet changed my diet, wasn't exercising the way I am now, etc.)--but anyone who knows me well, knows that "letting it be" is not my strong suit--I should be supremely thankful that I'm alive, thankful for what I have (my wife, my family & friends, my adorable little pup; yes,a job I don't love, but in this economy, a job just the same, food on the table & a roof over my head) & I make posts on Facebook that so many other people have it so much worse than I do & I'm grateful, etc.--so why then am I not always as grateful & thankful as I should be?? Do I really appreciate the good things in my life? Why do I still complain about things or always "sweat the small stuff" as the saying goes? I truly do have it better than a lot of people in this world--sure, many of the day-to-day annoyances & problems I have are ones that everyone has these days: we all want to make more $$$, pay our bills, provide for our loved ones as best we can, get that better job, that better apartment or try to buy a house, whatever the case may be--why do I not let myself be as happy as others seem to think I am--so many people tell me my wife & I are such a great couple & we are perfect together & that we are so lucky to have found each other; I believe all that myself, but why then do I take my wife, my lover, my best friend for granted??

"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me--speaking words of wisdom, Let It Be--and in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me--speaking words of wisdom, Let It Be..."

I know married couples, no matter how happy they are, will bicker, argue, fight over big things, but most times, over a million little things that could be avoided--I guess I feel sometimes that getting married so late in life, we were more "battle-tested" & should have been more equipped to deal with all of life's little potholes & minefields--I guess I thought I'd make a better husband to the person I finally decided to share my life with--I never was the easiest person to be with in a relationship, after being lousy at it in my youth, but overall, I became a better partner, or so I thought as I got older--trying to not sweat the small stuff & get through life on your own is one thing; when another person is involved, it's a whole new ballgame--I'm a better person in some ways because of my wife, but I'm still lacking (as far as I'm concerned) in others; when, if ever, does it get easier?? I know she loves me & I love her more than life itself--learning to let go, as it were, would go a long way towards us having a better relationship in all aspects of our lives--but is it all just a form of "continuing education"? Like the line from the John Lennon song goes (and I quote it all the time), "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans"---I guess I just have to realize it's all a "Long and Winding Road" and just do my best to "Let It Be".

As Time Goes By....

"Well I'm not the kind to live in the past, The years run too short and the days too fast, The things you lean on, are the things that don't last, Well it's just now and then, my line gets cast into these, Time passages There's something back here that you left behind, Oh, time passages, Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight..." Al Stewart, TIME PASSAGES

So, continuing with the theme of times gone by, remeberances of days past, etc., tonight my wife & I, who were married just a little over 16 months ago, went out to dinner with long-time friends of ours who were celebrating their 1-year wedding anniversary (we & another couple actually went to Las Vegas with them last year for their wedding--they were married in a civil ceremony with family & several close friends a few days before that)--it got me thinking how, as much as we all tend to say it about our lives these days, time really does seem to pass more & more quickly as we all get older; add to that the fact that I just turned 50 this past April, a few weeks after my own one-year wedding anniversary, & my wife did the same this past June, and you really feel like so much of your daily lives have all of a sudden sped by in what seems like one big blur; then you think of other events that have practically caught up to the present in a flash: for example, my niece/god-daughter will turn 8 next month & her sister will be 4 in October--I feel like I was just in the hospital seeing them for the 1st time after they were born only recently; this past May marked 12 years since my father passed & my mother turned 78 this past April--how did THAT all happen already?? Add to that a photo album my mother made me for my 50th & a similar one my wife's sister did for her 50th, all the old pics bringing back a flood of memories--being a life-long lover of music & a musician myself, always synching various songs & lyrics with any & all aspects of my life, I think of Chicago's song OLD DAYS ("Good times I'll remember...")--and I have become more & more nostalgic as the years go by (not to say I'm unique; I imagine we all do it as we get older)--I think that because the world we live in is so drastically different than any of us could have imagined at this point (technological advances; global economics; the ever-changing faces & state of everything from government, education, world powers, race relations, religion, etc.; and amazingly, the approaching 10th anniversary of 9/11), & as I alluded to in my last blog about the comfort & peace-of-mind, as it were, of re-living our youth simply by posting on a Facebook page about what we remember most about coming from a certain city or neighborhood, more & more, we all need that safety-net of a piece of our past that, for better or worse, keeps us sane & maybe for just a brief moment, gives us hope--and (here comes another song lyric to make my case--LOL), as Paul McCartney sang in SILLY LOVE SONGS: "What's wrong with that?" :)

Memories.....

"Now as the years roll on
Each time we hear our favorite song
The memories come along
Older times we're missing
Spending the hours reminiscing"

Hello, all--the above verse comes to you courtesy of the Little River Band & their 1978 hit song "Reminiscing"--I bring you this because I have been doing just that with over 900 other people at last count on a barely 3-day old page on Facebook entitled "You Know You're From Flushing If..." that a woman named Alison put up--even in these days of advanced social networking, I'm still amazed at the speed at which this took off & with the number of posts (over 900 people, multiple posts by each one, it has to be over several thousand posts at least by this point!!)--it's actually been a blast (my phone blowing up, not withstanding) remembering & being reminded of all the places, stores, restaurants, schools, movie theaters, parks & any & all locations & activities of "Flushing-ites" spanning the last 40 years or so---Some of my friends were quickly already on there before me (& I got on the page the 1st day) plus I added several more--it's unbelieveable when you realize how much you remember AND how much you've forgotten (certain neighborhood people's names, which store was in which location 1st, when did this place move, when did that person pass, when did that store burn down, what was that teacher's name, you're related to him/her??, etc.)--sometimes, in the midst of all the hustle & bustle of our daily lives, all the craziness, all the aggravation, the frustrations, all the uncertainty, it's nice to revisit your youth & connect with people you don't or may not even know on FB, but who all share a common bond--so different from re-connecting with old friends, classmates, etc. the way we usually do on any of these sites--I left this woman Alison a message telling her I think what she did was terrific & thanked her for it, and I wasn't the only one; several people saw  my post & did the same--this page has already spawned at least one similar page from another Queens location & neighborhood, from what I understand (and I'm sure there are many more to come)--this whole endeavor was quite well-timed & breath of fresh air to this stagnant mind at least--like the Rolling Stones said "You Can't Always Get What You Want--But if You Try Sometimes, You FInd--You Get What You Need"---and what I need now, friends & neighbors, is sleep, so I bid you all a fond adieu--until next time :)

Good Night & Good Luck

So after some recent events & situations, I spent the better part of today ruminating on the concept & meaning of "luck"; Webster's Dictionary defines "luck" as: "(a) a force that brings good fortune or adversity, (b): the events or circumstances that operate for or against an individual; favoring chance; also : success <had great luck growing orchids>" (interesting example they chose); I bring this up because no matter what you call it (luck, karma, kismet, etc.), some, in fact many, will argue that "there is no such thing; we all make our own luck or good fortune"--and I do agree with that in principle, but with each passing day, all the different things I see in my travels & my dealings with people on a daily basis make it hard to believe that a lot of what happens in life is "divine provenance" or "just out of our hands"; too much seems to happen to people that can't always be defined as a situation where "if he/she would've only done this, or that, things would've turned out differently"-- re: yesterday's blog, if Gabby Giffords happened to be standing in a different spot or location, or was running late for that paticular event or stop, what eventually happened wouldnt've, but how could she know or change that? Was the inebriated, wheelchair-bound vet getting on my bus yesterday afternoon able, at any point in his life, to actually make different choices to have even some small modicum of good fortune come his way? Or could he have ever consciously done just one thing differently? If any one of us goes to a casino or plays cards for money, but doesn't play our usual style or game to try to change things up because we've had a bad run doing so, or play a different machine because it "feels" lucky, maybe one that we saw the person before us win on, or we sit a different way, or rub the machine, or wear some different hat or lucky charm, is that making our own luck if we start winning, or just superstition? Sitting here with the Yankee game on in the background, I think: does a batter or pitcher who is losing or doing badly & who changes his stance or delivery, wears the same hat or shirt under his jersey until his "luck" changes, then starts winning or hitting home runs, doing so because now he has "good karma", or his "luck" has changed?? I think we don't so much make our own luck as we end up in the right place at the right time & make our own success; we may catch a "lucky break" along the way, but as the saying goes "success breeds success"--also, I think another old saying has it backwards: it's not WHO you know, but WHAT you know; we make our own "breaks", by being dilligent, working hard, being tireless promoters of our own best qualities & attributes--simply put, my friends, you cannot wait for a lucky break, or wait for someone to come along & hand you anything you want in life--"to thine own self be true" should be everyone's motto everyday--even if the choices you make don't pan out, if you are confident you did what you thought was best & would make the same choice again, then it was not meant to be--I will admit I am not always the most positive of people & complain more than I should about too many things (patience is a virtue; impatience taxes that virtue, take it from me), but I try to make things happen for myself (not always successfully, but I try), not sit around & wait for it; my wife & I have had our ups & downs in many areas of our relationship & our personal & professional lives, just like anyone else; it's how we move forward & change the things we need to that will shape our future, not crystal balls, 4-leaf clovers, rabbitt's feet, charms, potions, incantations, etc. or even worse, "wishful thinking"--like the Nike ads used to say "Do it!!", or better yet, to quote the old 60's rock group Badfinger: "If you want it, here it is--COME & GET IT"

Miracles & Spectacles

Hello again, everyone--2 topics to ruminate on today: As a DJ on my favorite NY rock & roll station said earlier today, if he had to hear the phrase "debt ceiling" one more time, he would probably just pull his head right off his neck, that's how exasperated he was--however, even with all the "STURM und DRANG" (look it up, folks!!) on & over this topic & all its ramifications one way or the other, something actually came out of it to make each & every one of us pause & realize that the phrase "what doesn't kill us, maskes us stonger" has never been more true; among the "yea" votes on this bill was Democratic Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, who appeared on the House floor for the first time since January, when she was shot and critically wounded at a congressional event in her Arizona district--she is not only a true medical marvel, but is stonger than any of us could ever hope to be; I start with this to balance these thoughts out with what happened on the 1st part of my commute home today: when my bus stopped to pick up passengers right before a local hospital that recently re-modeled & expanded itself (& I assume, has or recently added or revamped recovery/assistance programs for disabled and/or wheelchair bound patients), a disheveled, middle-aged man in a wheelchair & wearing what seemed like a hospital bracelet motioned to get on--the driver did the usual obligatory business to get the mechanical ramp down from the side-door & get him in; once on, it was apparent he was not only inebriated, but in what seemed to be drink holders in both arm-rests on the chair was placed a tallboy can of beer--the poor man was so far gone in both speech (which included profanity) & manner & had trouble with everything from getting on the bus, positioning himself, understanding where to do so & that he had to be strapped in, even letting the driver know where he needed to get off the bus, plus he couldn't avoid ramming into people towards the back (including me); this got me thinking if he had just come from the hospital & received any treatment, physical or mental? He was obviously a veteran, sporting several Marine tattoos & markings, but did not seem like he could take care of himself; does he have anyone who can or to go home to? Does he reside in any kind of group home or facility? We beat a topic or debate a bill to death politically, financially, idealogically & morally, but is that person solely responsible for the state & position he was in? Did the system let him down? Do we as a society do enough in instances like these? Not everyone on the bus was sympathetic to his situation (several people changed seats immediately to avoid him, one old Asian couple spoke furiously & harshly in their language, pointing towards him & a young Latina mother with 2 small children got off the bus as soon as she could; I just turned up the volume on the Ipod & enjoyed some GREEN DAY)--we all take too much for granted in our lives, & Ms Giffords is truly lucky to be alive; the veteran is alive, but what kind of life is he actually living?? Embrace & enjoy life the best you can, my friends--as corny as it always sounds, everything & anything can change in an instant...until next time, dear readers :)