Where DOES The Time Go??? (And When I Find It, Do I Know How To Use It Wisely??)

Hello all: so I see almost a month has gone by since my last entry (amazing how time slips past us these days, especially around the holidays...); anyway, I guess another re-cap is in order: the last month has seen my Mom in the hospital for 9 days with a re-ocurrance of her pneumonia from her stay in September, dehydration (she had hardly eaten anything after getting sick Thanksgiving Eve--& unfortunately, missing the holiday altogether, before we took her to First-Med) combined with very low potassium & thyroid readings & a flaring-up of her gallstones, which almost required surgery--sooner rather than later); she's much better now, staying home the last 10 days resting (my wife & myself, my sister & bro-in-law & the nieces were there last Sunday to help her put up her tree & finish decorating, spend time with her, etc.) & last nite, we took her out to do some shopping (which felt like being re-leased from prison, she said!! LOL--not THAT drastic, she admits, but you get the meaning...); also, the wife & I have not even decorated the house at this point (she gets home late @ least a few nights a week, & even when she doesn't, we're both so tired from the workday we just don't do anything); we did our Xmas cards printed up (with the pup & Santa), but have to put them together & send them out; not getting a tree till this weekend because we want a real one & my wife says we have no place to store a new fake one (I say, in the clutter that is our lives, what's the difference at this point?? LOL)--plus, we are actually having everyone (a mix of both sides of the family) over for Xmas Eve (a big undertaking, yes, but it will be nice); in fact, I'm even late with putting up all the Xmas cards/photos we've gotten (more & more each day, I feel, as Steve Miller in the original & then Seal in the re-make sang in "Fly Like An Eagle" that "time keeps on slipping, slipping, into the future"); & while I'm looking forward to all the upcoming holiday festivities & such (starting with our yearly trek to NJ for Xmas with my sister & the family there), my in-offiice holiday party next week, the afore-mentioned Xmas Eve, New Year;s Eve @ our friends' house, etc., I feel like I haven't fully gotten into the Xmas Spirit (we did watch the tree-lighting specials & some other Xmas stuff on various networks, we mostly have Xmas music on here @ work, you here it everywhere else, all the commercials on TV & radio ad-naseum); it's hard to explain sometimes, but I think with all that's happened the last year or so, I'm most certainly looking forward to packing away 2011 & moving on to the New Year, but realize that once again, it's kind of selfish to complain about anything with all the terrible things still going on in the world, to people in my family & in the different circles of friends, etc.--I think it's OK to want a fresh start & a clean slate, but so much has happened to so many that I know & love; for example, this time of year is so hard for my wife (her Dad) & anyone else who has lost a loved one right before Xmas (it's hard anytime, but even tougher before the holidays); this hit home when attending the wake of a friend from our theater group who I met over 6 years ago doing "The Wizard of Oz" then when we started "Gypsy" the next year, he had to bow out after being cast due to his mom's illness; he came back 2 years ago for "Cinderella" & we all had a great re-connecting, but even then, he wasn't himself & you can tell he wasn't well; he plowed thru the show & persevered, though (showing more pluck & fortitude than most people I know; I don't if I could be as strong); when we did "Annie", his son, who has been working backstage with us for years, kept us posted on his ever-changing conditions (a great guy, such a "mensch", & just plain nice) & it was hard for my wife to sit there even for the short time we attended; then you find out that the poor woman killed in that freak elevator accident worked with & knew an old friend of mine, so shock & mourning all around; the family of the officer who was killed because the judicial & legal system failed knows their loved one was in a dangerous line of work, but if savage animals like those who were responsibile weren't roaming the streets, this wouldnt've happened how & when it did--sighhhhh, & I complain when I feel stressed @ work, or think I'm still not doing enough in my exercise regimen or diet, or when the buses run late to & from work, or when one of the many clueless people or one of the many avoidable situations in the world "grind my gears", as a theater-group friend of mine is fond of saying---so, let's all remember, "Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards Men (& Women & Children & Dogs & Cats & Everyone We Meet...); maybe Frank Capra was right: maybe if we think of what would happen if we were never born & never knew the love of our nearest & dearest & in turn, they never knew what it was like to have us in THEIR worlds, we might see that it really could be "A Wonderful Life" :)

He's A Real Nowhere Man....

Good morning, All--so, Beatle fan that I am, I thought that was an appropriate title for today's offering, only the 2nd one this month (as I've said before, the spirit is willing, but the fingers are weak...) as well as an apt metaphor in many ways for my current state of being--but as usual, I digress...
ANY-hoo, here's a re-cap of recent events: as Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself, as I'm sure many others do at this time of year, contemplating life & all I'm thankful for; my beautiful wife, my precious pup, my family & all my friends at the top of the list, of course; my renewed health; a roof over my head & although, I've fallen out of love with my job long ago (for a host of reasons), at least it's a job (& I did recently get my forced day off each week back & a SLIGHT bump in pay), but of course, all that being said, there's always an undercurrent & combination of uncertainty/frustration/malaise/stress/confusion/helplessness, etc. about my everyday existence; more & more people I know these days are pretty much in the same boat, so I never consider myself unique in having these feelings, just that that's where I am at this point in my life; I know, I know, WOE IS ME (or as Linda Rondstadt sang :Poor Poor Pitiful Me"--LOL)--I know there are countless people all over the world without all the good things that I have & hold dear, but I guess at 50 years old (& a half, to be precise), I feel like something is still missing somehow (like the line in Jim Croce's "Bad Bad Leroy Brown": A jigsaw puzzle with a couple a pieces gone...)--anyway, minus losing a week or so last week to a bad head & chest cold where I felt like I was just creeping through each day (and skipping one interval exercise class & one boxing class each & unfortunately, doing less biking but still trying to walk & do my own weights/exercise stuff as best I could every day), being pretty much back to form physically & mentally hasn't necessarily helped me through the muck & mire of my daily routines--luckily, Thanksgiving is the thing I've looked forward to the most for quite some time now; it's unfortunate that there still has to be so many "hurdles to clear", so many "walls" to climb, so many "potholes" to jump over to get to something good; such is the way of the world more than ever, I suppose--but as I said before (& as I usually do), I digress; just feels good to see it on "paper" or in "print" sometimes to put things in perspective--with that, I leave you till next time, my friends--have a healthy, Happy & bountiful Thanksgiving with your nearest & dearest & loved ones all & prayers for those no longer with us to share the day :)

Isn't It Ironic (Don'cha Think??)

So, here is my 1st blog for the new month (and once again, a more & more paltry output from me has me contemplating the end of this little experiment, but we'll see...)--briefly, here goes: I seem to have been befallen by 2 separate incidences of that old saw, Irony; Example One: For a blog who's title includes the sentence "From A Lover Of The Spoken Word", I have used words to inadvertently & most accidentally destroy 2 friendships, one a longtime friend (and both tied together: this is a couple of friends who are dating, the woman fairly new to our circle of friends, the guy a friend of many years & someone I'm on a BBQ team with, among other social activities; suffice it to say, I thought I was venting about a situation with the woman, who has now worked with me for awhile, by texting back & forth with my wife; after the 1st 2 texts, a friend on Facebook messaged me & I answered her but stayed on the text/posting thread, so that my next bunch of texts about said woman, unfortunately derogatory in nature (again, frustation & venting because a lot of changes & new rules @ work & other stuff--we had both been talked to already by our new Office Mgr. & I by my my main boss as well; I have been given my Mondays back that were taken away when we all got forced down to 4 days a week @ the beginning of this year & have been handed other responsibilities--I even got a slight bump in pay--woo hoo!!--with several provisions added including not spending extra time engaging this person or letting them engage me in endless/mindless conversation) ended up on FB; the 2nd example of Irony is maybe more of a stretch, but here goes: Back in 2005 when I rejoined The Andrean Players theater group @ St. Andrew's Church here in Flushing after a 16-year absence, I did so because I heard they were going to do "The Wizard of Oz" & I had always wanted to play the Cowardly Lion; we all know the story: he's the "King of the Forest" & lost his "noive" (courage), so he compensates by acting all scary & fierce, but deep down, he's a fraidy cat, for lack of a better term; @ the end he finds he always had his "noive" & his courage all along (stay with me, folks)--the day after this happened, after she had already made a post about it the nite before, she basically said "the coward couldn't face up to what he did" and she was right; I lost my "noive" & didn't have the decency to rectify this or @ least try to as soon as it happened--I do like the woman & see she has made my friend happier than he's been in years, so I wouldn't try to destroy that; I also would never purposely put all that on FB for all the world to see; however, by doing what I did, I've now lost both friendships to the point that I know I've affected our circle of friends, if not yet, then in the foreseeable future; I have been distraught since I realized I did this last Thursday afternoon & deleted the posts & threads; however, I sat here with the woman the rest of the day & did not address it at all; I basically let it go until I saw she left a post (not mentioning me) addressing it that nite & another one the next day--then my friend, himself, left me a private FB message last nite around 9:45pm & said he saw my posts, he knows it was me, our friendship is finished, etc--I answered him right away & sent another FB message & 2 texts this morning & a message to her on FB last nite as well, apologizing profusely all-around & trying to explain myself--I even had my wife message the guy, but I know it's to no avail; I've been miserable since it happened & just left a kind of public apology post on FB a little while ago with the proviso that I am not going to discuss it any further-- siggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(  - - - a hard way to learn a lesson, but I got what I deserved, I think; now I just have deal & live with the consequences--anyway, friends, thanks for listening & I hope to tty soon.

The Week In Review

Good Morning, All--so, let me quickly give an overview of the last week or so to try & catch you up: as I mentioned last week, I started a "boot camp" program with my nutritionist & a boot camp it was from the get-go; jumping jacks & other warm-up exercises (including push-ups, which I'm proud to say I did 10 of--been FOREVER since I even attempted any), boxing (sparring/shadow-boxing/light & heavy bags), & a host of stretching & conditioning stuff--I'm really glad I started this program (my sore & ever-older feeling body not withstanding the 3 or 4 days afterwards)--I was a little awkward with the boxing till I got some of the stances & stuff down--also, I ride the bike back & forth to the fitness place (5 blocks away x 2), so I start before I even get there--last nite was the1st "interval training": more push-ups, lunges/walking with 7-pound weights around the room twice, different conditioning exercises, soccer toe-taps on a medicine ball, squats, etc--feeling it this morning, but it's all good--on the homefront, Mom moves into her new apartment Tuesday; some stress there with getting things packed & done, making the arrangements with the movers--a few ensuing issues with that--& my Mom distraught over my Aunt's health & situation (her sister, & a lot of baggage with that particular long-time situation), work busier than ever (learning more & more of other people's work & functions, as we all are here with the new office mgr. & all)--so all-in-all, busy, busy, busy, every minute it seems filled with more & more to do & deal with & less time to do so (still catching up on a lot of my shows, DVR/on-demand, etc.)--anyway, time to dive into the workday as I finish my breakfast (& by the way, it's frigging COLD out there this morning!!)--until next time, my friends :)

Just a Thought (or two...)

So, briefly, before the day starts, I am officially starting the "boot camp" program I mentioned--starting this Saturday morning with boxing/kickboxing & then what's known as "interval training" during the week: weights/strength conditioning, etc.--looking forward to doing it--still kind of sitting at the same level weight-wise, but other areas are improved (body-fat better, legs are a bit smaller inch-wise & definitely stronger)--also, have been upping my own at-home exercise regimen; bought a couple of small weights & a jump rope recently, doing some every day as much as I can, plus have increased the walking & biking on a daily basis--sometimes, I don't even recognize myself with all this good health stuff (LOL)--anyway, time to dive into this pile of work staring @ me on my desk--we'll talk again soon, my friends (well, as soon as I ever get myself back on here!!)

Good Morning, One & All

So, here I am having my breakfast & once again, lamenting my lack of posting output, so I will just summarize some recent thoughts & musings: I have been mulling the next step in my wellness/health regimen which would be an 8-week "boot camp" as my nutritionist calls it to supplement the 12-week "de-clutter/reshaping" program I've been doing (with the daily tracking of food in a journal & such); she is also a strength & conditioning coach/trainer, etc.; now while it's true I have in past posts sounded off on what I felt was the good & bad & ups & downs of her methods, etc., she is right about one thing: all the change of diet, walking, biking, exercise, etc. is great & has produced enough if not as much of the results I would like (and yes, once again, I know I have done very well since this journey began, even though I get as frustrated as anyone else about any lack of recent progress weight-wise, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada), I'm in better shape than a year ago by far; I just need to tighten up the regimen & this may be the perfect way to do so--anyway, work already beckons & I will continue & re-visit this & other topics later--have a good day, all & we'll meet again soon (I hope!! LOL)

Crash-Test Dummy Hits The Wall Singing "Monday Monday"

Well, here I am, days from my last post AGAIN!! ;) LOL--oh well, it's just hard to keep up with life these days, but what can you do?? Starting my 1st Monday back to work; the pros: making back $$$ that I was losing with the extra off-day for quite some time, getting extra walking in (the usual 2-3miles I do Tues-Fri; I did walk & ride the bike on my off-days, but not as much, due to dr. appts, laundry, errands, helping my Mom with stuff, etc.); the cons: getting back up EARLY the extra day, dealing with the crowded buses (although, kinda empty & a very quick commute on both AND I left a few minutes later than usual), plus an extra day of dealing with some of the crazy people I work with, as well as the crazy doctors, patients, etc.--but, with all the recent developments here @ the job, I am being given some more & varied responsibilities & getting a slight bump in pay, so it will be worth it for the most part--as for last week & most of this past weekend: OO-FAH!!! ;@--talk about needing an extended Mulligan---anyway, one of the things that bothered me the most this past week/weekend is when I went to the nutritionist to get weighed & measured & hand in my food journal for review the other day (Saturday)--now I understand what her scale & digital body-fat measurement gizmo & measuring tape all say goes, but I have a problem with what she started me out at, weight-wise: 185--I know I've been no more than 180 for quite some time on several other scales (hit the wall & plateau for a little too long, but whatever...)--while according to her I've lost a coupla pounds & lost about a percent & half of body-fat, to be told the body-fat was back up a half & no weight-loss this time bummed me out--I've been doing OK with losing a half-to-a-full inch on my thighs, upper body, waist, chest, etc.--actually, my wife is more annoyed with the nutritionist than I am; she actually doesn't make it all that convenient to meet with her (granted, she conducts weight-training & other svcs. there, but I go for maybe a total of 15-20 minutes tops & live only 5 blocks away)--I average 2-3 miles walking & try to do a mile & 1/2- 2 miles on the bike plus I exercise every day as well--I have no fried foods & very little red meat; all chicken, turkey (& mostly low-sodium of both), pork, tuna, other seafood, tons of salad, veggies & fruit, I hardly ever drink even diet-soda anymore, all bottled water, Vitamin & Powerade Water Zero, I mix in a lot of de-caf coffee with regular, sugar-free creamers, not as much sweetener if @ all, and don't even drink as much Crystal-Lite type teas & drinks anymore, instead going with flavored sparkling waters--I know I'm hard on myself & get obsessive about this stuff (again, ME?? OBSESSIVE???), but no worse than a lot of others--anyway, that's my tale of woe (not really woeful, but sounded good!! LOL)--OK, time to get myself in gear--tty all soon, my friends :)