He's A Real Nowhere Man....

Good morning, All--so, Beatle fan that I am, I thought that was an appropriate title for today's offering, only the 2nd one this month (as I've said before, the spirit is willing, but the fingers are weak...) as well as an apt metaphor in many ways for my current state of being--but as usual, I digress...
ANY-hoo, here's a re-cap of recent events: as Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself, as I'm sure many others do at this time of year, contemplating life & all I'm thankful for; my beautiful wife, my precious pup, my family & all my friends at the top of the list, of course; my renewed health; a roof over my head & although, I've fallen out of love with my job long ago (for a host of reasons), at least it's a job (& I did recently get my forced day off each week back & a SLIGHT bump in pay), but of course, all that being said, there's always an undercurrent & combination of uncertainty/frustration/malaise/stress/confusion/helplessness, etc. about my everyday existence; more & more people I know these days are pretty much in the same boat, so I never consider myself unique in having these feelings, just that that's where I am at this point in my life; I know, I know, WOE IS ME (or as Linda Rondstadt sang :Poor Poor Pitiful Me"--LOL)--I know there are countless people all over the world without all the good things that I have & hold dear, but I guess at 50 years old (& a half, to be precise), I feel like something is still missing somehow (like the line in Jim Croce's "Bad Bad Leroy Brown": A jigsaw puzzle with a couple a pieces gone...)--anyway, minus losing a week or so last week to a bad head & chest cold where I felt like I was just creeping through each day (and skipping one interval exercise class & one boxing class each & unfortunately, doing less biking but still trying to walk & do my own weights/exercise stuff as best I could every day), being pretty much back to form physically & mentally hasn't necessarily helped me through the muck & mire of my daily routines--luckily, Thanksgiving is the thing I've looked forward to the most for quite some time now; it's unfortunate that there still has to be so many "hurdles to clear", so many "walls" to climb, so many "potholes" to jump over to get to something good; such is the way of the world more than ever, I suppose--but as I said before (& as I usually do), I digress; just feels good to see it on "paper" or in "print" sometimes to put things in perspective--with that, I leave you till next time, my friends--have a healthy, Happy & bountiful Thanksgiving with your nearest & dearest & loved ones all & prayers for those no longer with us to share the day :)

Isn't It Ironic (Don'cha Think??)

So, here is my 1st blog for the new month (and once again, a more & more paltry output from me has me contemplating the end of this little experiment, but we'll see...)--briefly, here goes: I seem to have been befallen by 2 separate incidences of that old saw, Irony; Example One: For a blog who's title includes the sentence "From A Lover Of The Spoken Word", I have used words to inadvertently & most accidentally destroy 2 friendships, one a longtime friend (and both tied together: this is a couple of friends who are dating, the woman fairly new to our circle of friends, the guy a friend of many years & someone I'm on a BBQ team with, among other social activities; suffice it to say, I thought I was venting about a situation with the woman, who has now worked with me for awhile, by texting back & forth with my wife; after the 1st 2 texts, a friend on Facebook messaged me & I answered her but stayed on the text/posting thread, so that my next bunch of texts about said woman, unfortunately derogatory in nature (again, frustation & venting because a lot of changes & new rules @ work & other stuff--we had both been talked to already by our new Office Mgr. & I by my my main boss as well; I have been given my Mondays back that were taken away when we all got forced down to 4 days a week @ the beginning of this year & have been handed other responsibilities--I even got a slight bump in pay--woo hoo!!--with several provisions added including not spending extra time engaging this person or letting them engage me in endless/mindless conversation) ended up on FB; the 2nd example of Irony is maybe more of a stretch, but here goes: Back in 2005 when I rejoined The Andrean Players theater group @ St. Andrew's Church here in Flushing after a 16-year absence, I did so because I heard they were going to do "The Wizard of Oz" & I had always wanted to play the Cowardly Lion; we all know the story: he's the "King of the Forest" & lost his "noive" (courage), so he compensates by acting all scary & fierce, but deep down, he's a fraidy cat, for lack of a better term; @ the end he finds he always had his "noive" & his courage all along (stay with me, folks)--the day after this happened, after she had already made a post about it the nite before, she basically said "the coward couldn't face up to what he did" and she was right; I lost my "noive" & didn't have the decency to rectify this or @ least try to as soon as it happened--I do like the woman & see she has made my friend happier than he's been in years, so I wouldn't try to destroy that; I also would never purposely put all that on FB for all the world to see; however, by doing what I did, I've now lost both friendships to the point that I know I've affected our circle of friends, if not yet, then in the foreseeable future; I have been distraught since I realized I did this last Thursday afternoon & deleted the posts & threads; however, I sat here with the woman the rest of the day & did not address it at all; I basically let it go until I saw she left a post (not mentioning me) addressing it that nite & another one the next day--then my friend, himself, left me a private FB message last nite around 9:45pm & said he saw my posts, he knows it was me, our friendship is finished, etc--I answered him right away & sent another FB message & 2 texts this morning & a message to her on FB last nite as well, apologizing profusely all-around & trying to explain myself--I even had my wife message the guy, but I know it's to no avail; I've been miserable since it happened & just left a kind of public apology post on FB a little while ago with the proviso that I am not going to discuss it any further-- siggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(  - - - a hard way to learn a lesson, but I got what I deserved, I think; now I just have deal & live with the consequences--anyway, friends, thanks for listening & I hope to tty soon.